Give the time to the people who actually are there and supporting you :) !

I am very proud of myself because I know how much I struggle and work every day. I have established a good structure that I maintain and I have good order in my everyday life. It feels amazing that I have been able to work so much with my music. It feels incredibly inspiring to continue with my music in the year 2019. This year has given me many new lessons about much. I have also become more confident in things that I already knew before. I has taken me forward as I always do, despite the adversity of many different kinds.

Many people do not understand is that I make the best of my life. I have learned not to get anxious for it that I’m not capable of and I have learned not to compare myself with other people. I have done enough in my life. There are still a few people I know who constantly tries to remind me of what I can’t. They are very negative and they spread negative energy. Just for that I went education and got good grades so it does not mean that I automatically become free from my mental illness. I trained and worked within my subject and I did it well. It worked more than good and I thrived in my workplace. It is and always will be the workplace where I feel like I could be myself and everyone respected me for who I am. My choice to not work was my own choice. After at least 20 years of experience and struggling so I wanted to finish everything in the best way. I wanted to stop working when it worked and when I felt strong. Not like other jobs when I had time to be sick and have felt me incredibly failed as a person. Lived in a bad circle where my anxiety prevented me from doing anything. I have for several recurring times in my life started over and over again with everything. Fresh starts with new perspectives and motivations in life. Known to this time I fix it. It has always gone to hell and I have ended up on the bottom several times. I know within myself that I have chosen to not work at a regular job to get a further better balance in my everyday life.

There are people who point out how pity it is that I am not working then I have my education. There are those who think that all the time I should do more. There are those who will never be satisfied with what I do. There are envious people who are trying to press me down. It all these people have missed completely is that I am a winner. I make the best of the situation and I’m doing it more than good. We must not forget here that the people who complain the most are those who do not have any knowledge about mental illness and they definitely have not any knowledge about me. 

I have the knowledge about mental illness and I know how I work. I’m tired of explaining everything all the time for people who question everything. Many will never understand me. What they need to do is to respect my choices in my life. Never forget that how much you wonder, and how strange it all is.

How weird you think I am?

What you think I should do?

How you think I should live ?

You can keep your questions and you can keep your requirements on how you think I should exist. I have been questioned my whole life and I am the one who has challenged me the most. I have been brutal and I have been wild. I have had the most questions about myself than you will ever have together. I’ve doubted myself and I have compared me with other people. I have known that it doesn’t matter what I do so there will never be enough.

 

I have chosen to feel good and to continue making music and blogging. I have chosen not to compare me with other people. I have also chosen not to do so as some do when they compare my best and worse days. I have chosen to accept all of the days both the worse and the better. People who are still questioning me is not respecting me and it is sad, however, is their problem. I have found my way to get everything to work more than well. As I opened this post by so I am proud of myself. 

My questions are : Have you reflected on your own life ? Are you questioning my life and my choices for that you simply are unintelligent ? I am a person who is better than you  think so you have a hard time accepting it ? Do you think I listen more at you than at my doctors, and psychologists ? Have you forgotten that I am educated in this? Have you considered that your questioning has to do, that you yourself are not satisfied with your own life? 

Year 2019 : going to be the year in which the questioning people will not put me in any situation where I will have to defend myself by their questions. In 2019, they only accept the position if either wonder forever or to start to accept me as a person. Respect me or leave !

You will always have these condescending people around you, so don’t forget to believe in yourselves and give the time to the people who actually are there and supporting you. They may not always understand you, however,  but they respect you and your choices and they do not have the need to question you all the time. 

Take Care of Each Other  🙂

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTz6y6T-ArV3gc7RyXqABcw      Here you can listen on my music and follow me on Youtube  😛 

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I put in an old milkbucket :)

Today I have planted two palm trees that I put in an old milkbucket. Think it was very nice and it fits well in my room. I love the green plants, so there will be more and more green plants in my home. It feels incredibly liberating to finally started to get into my creativity again. It is tedious and I feel very trapped in myself, in those periods where I become locked in my creativity. It is important to consider then is that there will be better days and that I will have to wait on them. 

Now I have some other things to arrange at home before I will prepare for tomorrow and the coming week.

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

 

 

 

 

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Just because not many have the ability to see my balance in life does not mean that my balance does not exist

Today I had to take it easy, which is needed sometimes. So I have arranged to sort some clothes. It is good to get it done for then it is easier to find the clothes that I use the most. Now it is time to bring out some warmer clothes. As long as I don’t freeze so I do not think that it is a hassle with the winter, however, I like summer the most.

Tonight, I will see on a series that I follow  😛 

I have many things I want to do now in the future so therefore it is extra important to take my breaks. Thinking of how I want the year 2019 and I will strive to achieve my future goals.

At last the end of the year so I had so many plans for the new year and 2018. It was not at all as I had imagine or that I had planned. My will in much was shattered. Before the new year 2019 so I have personal reasons, and made a new agreement with myself.

I will not go into what I have decided more than that I will continue to make music so clearly in 2019. I will also write on this blog. Work out, I will always do for it is something that I have always done. What other people think about how and what I do regarding these 3 things that I do is nothing that is going to affect it negatively. Many people have asked me last year if both work, my music and the blog and my training. I have politely responded to their questions and it has often stopped by my answers have then used against me. This is a very, very negative way and in an underlying disbelief in that I have control on what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter how good I say I am or how good my training has gone. The most I all the time get back is that I don’t have control on it as I do, and those who wondered have had all the answers on how I are supposed to do. They know so much better than me and how I work that I sometimes wonder how they have learned everything. For me it has taken giant a long time to finally know who I am and what I want. See where I have been in life and look at me today. 
I have very good balance in my life so disbelief is not my experience and my abilities. I thought not of myself when I was younger. Now when I do it and is confident and has a good balance in my everyday life. So mistrust me not. Most of the time, which some people think is weird regarding me will be the stranger following their own speculations about why I live as I do. Why I do things differently than what they do. The answer is that everything that I do and do not do is carefully thought out and tried and tested way of living based on my own life experiences. It is difficult to explain to people who do not have the ability to understand my deep I and my way of thinking. It is often those who are wondering and those who then themselves will big good way for me to feel better in something that they will never understand. I’m tired of giving a response which is then thrown back at me in the hope that other people will save me with their clever solutions to me.
Just because not many have the ability to see my balance in life does not mean that my balance does not exist. On the contrary, it is just too complicated for people who do not possess the knowledge to understand. The most important thing is that I have my knowledge of how I feel the best. 
Take Care Of Each Other 
Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

 

 

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Freedom In My Creation

Now it is time for me to start on a new musical project, which feels really fun. There is a lot of work now for me in the future and it will be so lovely to finally be able to immerse myself in this. I collect new energy now every day that I shall be able to be creative. I am purposeful in this and look forward to start.

I have not set any end date on this project, which both feels and gives me great freedom in my creation. I like to work in slightly different ways when it comes to my music. Right now, it is very good to have an end date.

Today I will write some lyrics and to work out a little. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend, all of you  🙂 

Thank you for listening to my music : 

Take Care Of Each Other  

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl  🙂 

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Sushi Dinner :)

It has been a really lovely weekend with us. We have had sushi dinner with healthy drinks. There were a few good varieties. I like the green and then the orange the most.

My son likes the sushi as it is something that we sometimes buy. We also make sushi at home sometimes. 

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl  🙂 

 

Thank you who listen to my music : 

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