My 21 songs in a playlist on youtube :)

Now, I have structured my next few songs and even received the order of the other songs which I’ll do in the end. I have also collected my 21 songs in a playlist on youtube : 

It feels wonderful to finally be able to get it as I have done now. It means that I can focus on other things that I should do now in the future.

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

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They see that I have come so much further than them and they want us to be on the same level

I have had time to think now during the summer on a great many things and because of it become even more sure that I have thought right in everything. Because all the time I will be questioned regarding my situation in that I have full control on my day to day life so I know that I must rely on myself. People who question me are people who are not knowledgeable within the subject. I think so then it will not be the single the sorrow of the never to be understood. My functioning everyday life annoys so many and just it feels very strange. I pressed down when I feel good, and what I do is not good enough. What is said is that more should be done all the time. Never get to feel that you are good enough and nothing is ever good enough. I feel good is not good enough for many, however, I love myself. I am not going to fall for that, there are people who think a lot of things about me. So after a wonderful summer I had, apparently, the dimensions of the good in front of people. I had been too proud and happy. I can live in a functioning everyday life. I don’t need to take medication which I have worked in the several years to achieve. This just makes me more sure that I need to continue to listen to my inner voice and not make my life a case that other people want me to play on the bad card with my life. See how far I have taken me on my journey instead of asking me to throw away everything that I have fought for. 

For some people it is difficult to see that, I feel good today because they themselves have not worked with themselves in the degree that I have done. They see that I have come so much further than them and they want us to be on the same level. I have other people who find it difficult to simply be nice, since I live in my dream and I feel good today.

I have a lot of people who are eager to share all that I have built up and I have others that I know who are very jealous of it as I do. They can’t be happy about my progress and they do not want me to have in a way taken me further forward than on the level they are at. They want it to be like the days when you shared everything and when they actually had more to say. See the my journey through life, however, has not actually achieved what they want and then their nasty comments instead.

I’m happy and I can’t surround myself with people who are envious and have actually stuck so roughly in the past that they believe that I have developed as a person. They want me to be on the same level as them, and we are all different, so it is completely impossible. I can not sympathy, feel bad, eat medications and work for it works for other people. This I have already tested and there is nothing that I feel good in the long run. 

Many people see me as a strong person and I am. However, so do some people that still take my energy in particular is always when I feel the best. When I feel your best so will all the requirements, and it’s like I’m not worthy to feel good. It doesn’t matter what I do for a lot of people find the wrong in everything and it is more difficult now then there is nothing to complain about. What happens then is that I get to take a hell of a lot of crap for that, I feel good and am happy. 

Of course, I will continue to blog and to make music. Right now so I’m going to restructure many things. It is eating away at me all the time hear that it is not good enough no matter what I do. It is not with me that the problem is, the real problem is you never give you. 

Feel I for a while now in the future do not want to show the world about how I feel, you feel and this also applies to the face of the people who are my closest. If nothing is good enough so should I start to be indifferent to you who is not capable of my happiness and my progress. You should not listen to my music or read my blog any more. 

A thousand Thanks to those of you who follow me on my journey through my music and follow me on my blog. Love you you are the best . 

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs from MinikeGirl 

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No medicine in the world will get you to understand me is words that I want to throw back when people don’t understand me.

 I KNOW THAT YOU ALL LOVE ME AND THAT ITS HARD TO UNDERSTAND: I LOVE YOU ALL BUT I ALSO LOVE MY FIGHTS AND MYSELF …..

I will never throw away my life again that it is not worth anything. I have accepted my situation and I’m not going to let others push me to lose everything.

No medicine in the world will get you to understand me is words that I want to throw back when people don’t understand me. I have fought so much and so long to get to where I am today. I have, during the course of the journey failure more than you can count. More than you will ever understand. I have on many occasions had the will to end my life because I have felt so useless. Have always known that other people do everything and I can do nothing. I have cut my arms and legs. I have visible scars all over my body after razor blade. I have been on very strong medications for many years. I have been fighting with myself and my demons for a very long time. I have always had the will to never give up and that is why I am here today. For that I have the driving force to maintain everything that I have fought for. I have finally found my inner peace which I never thought was possible. 

The sad thing is that there are many people who want me to just throw away everything that I have fought for all these years. People who do not see the seriousness of it all. As all the time presses me, and I shall take steps to the directions that may do that I lose everything. Life is full of challenges and many are from ourselves, however, comes from other people.

Today I am a mother and I get my day to day life to go around. Compare with how it has been before. How I was as a person 20 years ago ?

I will not go in to I have been pressured again to all the time seek what other people think I should do. It will never be good enough and the press will never run out. On the other hand, is not going to leave what I have achieved in my journey just because other people do not understand.

Seriously, so why should it not suffice that I have a functioning everyday life?

I feel good today. I have found my way to survive.

So before you push me to reflect a little on who it really is, and think intelligently here ?

I eat no medications today except for my thyroid. I have done everything in my power that I would be medicine free. I have been working for several years with myself to get to where I am today. I am happy and proud of myself because I know how much I have struggled. You raise the bar all the time for me and you requires all the time more and more. This is as high as I can give you, however, most myself. Do you have a problem with it, so can you actually have it. I am doing what is best for me and my son.
See my whole journey through life, or choose to ignore it. It is up to you. What you do and what you think based on my best and worst days.It feels like I may hide myself when I have my better days so that you do not see them. Do you see them as will all of the requirements. It hurts the most when I’ve had a good period of time and that your requirements will then. It is understood from me that I’m not worthy to feel so good. I am worthy to feel good but not so much. You try to twist and turn on everything and you are like a tornado in there, that I, during all these years finally received the order on. I feel that it would be easier for you if I was and lived in indifference. Then, it would have been easier for you to understand. I’m not going to change me because it will be easier for you. I live in the here and now.
I am ….
I live in the here and now ……
I feel good and I’m happy …..
And its still not good enough for you? 
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I will be a bit like a hermit crab and maverick

 

So now, finally, we’ve also come away and acted new food for our new refrigerator and to the freezer. Today we take it easy and I have much to arrange here at home now when we’ve been away. So I take a little at a time. It will take a while until I feel that I have received the order of everything. I tend not to be so social right at these times and then it is good that those who know me know about it. I will be a bit like a hermit crab and maverick.

It is that I focus on what I want to have order on and that the other parts of me may take up more space. It feels like everything goes slowly for I am a little tired, however, so it does nothing. I do everything at my own pace. 

Now I will soon take and continue on one of the series that I follow on the computer. First, there will be some other things to do  😛 

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

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My fridge and freezer broke when we were not home

When I’ve been away on an adventure this summer, so I had filled up the freezer before I went away. It was that there would be food when we got home to avoid having to go shopping directly at homecoming. It is also a financial thought behind this. It was not quite as I had envisioned, but my fridge and freezer broke when we were not home. Luckily, some familiar to us and discover that it was broken so they could throw all the food.There has been a lot to arrange as it always is when I come home again. Now we also have some strong men helped me to carry my new fridge. The new refrigerator weighed much more than my old one  😀 

So I’ll write down what we need to shop. Then I feel that I almost have landed as I want to after this summer’s adventures  😛 

Now I’m very focused on taking me back to the reality here so that the days become more and more alike each other. Only to get home and get to sleep in my own bed and be able to play music and to sing does so much for my well-being. I have the big nice and cozy when we are on the adventure, however, do I need to return to everyday life where, I feel, in spite of everything the best. I require not so much in everyday life and feel the best of my routines here at home.

You who know me in depth knows that I need to get to have my peace and quiet then I act as the best. I have a good balance of everything now which feels amazing.

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

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There are many people along the way who try to quench my ardor

Lovely with even a gourmet seafood dinner. It is so amazing food. Last night it was a seafood party. My son has just turned 10 years now in the days so he celebrated a little extra this time he turned even. He has also he shellfish gene hihi  😛 . Nice company with my son, and our finest friend. 

I’ll land a bit from all that has been now in the summer. Soon it is time for me to continue with my music. It will be fun and interesting.

There are many people along the way who try to quench my ardor, and they make it only stronger. There are few people that I trust right now. A part stabs me in the back quite heavily. Everyone does it in their own way and I’m just tired and disappointed today. I run on as usual and it’s probably what bothers some people. However, I can not expect everyone to understand me either. Often, they try to make their own mistakes invisible by letting me be the black sheep and the scapegoat that everyone throws shit at little how it fits.

You know, when it doesn’t matter what you do nothing is good enough. What I will always hold on to is that regardless of the speculation and dramaqueens so I will always do what is best for me. It is easy to be hateful when it feels like it never is good enough. Never forget that it is your path and that it is you who can decide over it. I know what is best for me.

So thanks to all of you that I can rely on you guys are the best !

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

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