I am very proud of myself because I know how much I struggle and work every day. I have established a good structure that I maintain and I have good order in my everyday life. It feels amazing that I have been able to work so much with my music. It feels incredibly inspiring to continue with my music in the year 2019. This year has given me many new lessons about much. I have also become more confident in things that I already knew before. I has taken me forward as I always do, despite the adversity of many different kinds.
Many people do not understand is that I make the best of my life. I have learned not to get anxious for it that I’m not capable of and I have learned not to compare myself with other people. I have done enough in my life. There are still a few people I know who constantly tries to remind me of what I can’t. They are very negative and they spread negative energy. Just for that I went education and got good grades so it does not mean that I automatically become free from my mental illness. I trained and worked within my subject and I did it well. It worked more than good and I thrived in my workplace. It is and always will be the workplace where I feel like I could be myself and everyone respected me for who I am. My choice to not work was my own choice. After at least 20 years of experience and struggling so I wanted to finish everything in the best way. I wanted to stop working when it worked and when I felt strong. Not like other jobs when I had time to be sick and have felt me incredibly failed as a person. Lived in a bad circle where my anxiety prevented me from doing anything. I have for several recurring times in my life started over and over again with everything. Fresh starts with new perspectives and motivations in life. Known to this time I fix it. It has always gone to hell and I have ended up on the bottom several times. I know within myself that I have chosen to not work at a regular job to get a further better balance in my everyday life.
There are people who point out how pity it is that I am not working then I have my education. There are those who think that all the time I should do more. There are those who will never be satisfied with what I do. There are envious people who are trying to press me down. It all these people have missed completely is that I am a winner. I make the best of the situation and I’m doing it more than good. We must not forget here that the people who complain the most are those who do not have any knowledge about mental illness and they definitely have not any knowledge about me.
I have the knowledge about mental illness and I know how I work. I’m tired of explaining everything all the time for people who question everything. Many will never understand me. What they need to do is to respect my choices in my life. Never forget that how much you wonder, and how strange it all is.
How weird you think I am?
What you think I should do?
How you think I should live ?
You can keep your questions and you can keep your requirements on how you think I should exist. I have been questioned my whole life and I am the one who has challenged me the most. I have been brutal and I have been wild. I have had the most questions about myself than you will ever have together. I’ve doubted myself and I have compared me with other people. I have known that it doesn’t matter what I do so there will never be enough.
I have chosen to feel good and to continue making music and blogging. I have chosen not to compare me with other people. I have also chosen not to do so as some do when they compare my best and worse days. I have chosen to accept all of the days both the worse and the better. People who are still questioning me is not respecting me and it is sad, however, is their problem. I have found my way to get everything to work more than well. As I opened this post by so I am proud of myself.
My questions are : Have you reflected on your own life ? Are you questioning my life and my choices for that you simply are unintelligent ? I am a person who is better than you think so you have a hard time accepting it ? Do you think I listen more at you than at my doctors, and psychologists ? Have you forgotten that I am educated in this? Have you considered that your questioning has to do, that you yourself are not satisfied with your own life?
Year 2019 : going to be the year in which the questioning people will not put me in any situation where I will have to defend myself by their questions. In 2019, they only accept the position if either wonder forever or to start to accept me as a person. Respect me or leave !
You will always have these condescending people around you, so don’t forget to believe in yourselves and give the time to the people who actually are there and supporting you. They may not always understand you, however, but they respect you and your choices and they do not have the need to question you all the time.
Take Care of Each Other 🙂
Many Hugs From MinikeGirl
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTz6y6T-ArV3gc7RyXqABcw Here you can listen on my music and follow me on Youtube 😛