I KNOW THAT YOU ALL LOVE ME AND THAT ITS HARD TO UNDERSTAND: I LOVE YOU ALL BUT I ALSO LOVE MY FIGHTS AND MYSELF …..
I will never throw away my life again that it is not worth anything. I have accepted my situation and I’m not going to let others push me to lose everything.
No medicine in the world will get you to understand me is words that I want to throw back when people don’t understand me. I have fought so much and so long to get to where I am today. I have, during the course of the journey failure more than you can count. More than you will ever understand. I have on many occasions had the will to end my life because I have felt so useless. Have always known that other people do everything and I can do nothing. I have cut my arms and legs. I have visible scars all over my body after razor blade. I have been on very strong medications for many years. I have been fighting with myself and my demons for a very long time. I have always had the will to never give up and that is why I am here today. For that I have the driving force to maintain everything that I have fought for. I have finally found my inner peace which I never thought was possible.
The sad thing is that there are many people who want me to just throw away everything that I have fought for all these years. People who do not see the seriousness of it all. As all the time presses me, and I shall take steps to the directions that may do that I lose everything. Life is full of challenges and many are from ourselves, however, comes from other people.
Today I am a mother and I get my day to day life to go around. Compare with how it has been before. How I was as a person 20 years ago ?
I will not go in to I have been pressured again to all the time seek what other people think I should do. It will never be good enough and the press will never run out. On the other hand, is not going to leave what I have achieved in my journey just because other people do not understand.
Seriously, so why should it not suffice that I have a functioning everyday life?
I feel good today. I have found my way to survive.
So before you push me to reflect a little on who it really is, and think intelligently here ?
I live in the here and now ……
I feel good and I’m happy …..